Sunday, 17 April 2011


I don't know if theses actually come with with ttc or these have suddenly occurred after my mc
but I have found myself having mood swings, ohh no not any mood swings, raging mood swings!!! they had been OK up until yesterday I can feel my self getting angry so I would isolate myself ignore people get on with what I've got to do but yesterday it suddenly change
on Friday I found myself cleaning the AGAIN with NO help from dh this well pissed me off to say the least but I got over it soon enough. As I woke on Saturday I felt like the house was still not to my cleaning standards so again i started to clean UP! dh is on the ps he can see what im doing and AGAIN offers me no help at this stage I was raging I felt like I could take on Mohammad Ali and knock him out!!!!! I began getting mad then madder then madder I've always been able to control my anger ohhh no not today no way I flipped rite out throwing two clothes horses to the floor full of clean washing then just started kicking them and completely broke one of them and then if that went enough i started smacking my head on the kitchen unit and then the back of my head against the wall I was ready to explode what was wrong why am I so angry dh rearly helps me continuously making up excuses I should be used to his shit, or maybe that was it i had taken it for just too long. I sat on the floor with my back to the wall knees up to my chest still banging my head on the wall behinde me. THEN I just felt an erge of calm back to normal no more angryness I just sat there thinking WTF have I done i got up picked up the mess I had created and carried on as normal.........

Dh did no say anything i think he was oblivious to what had gone on still playing his effing ps
I needed to get out I asked him to hoover the living room and dust (knowing he would leave it) I'm going to see the horses i need to get out!!!

I think he may have got the picture after seeing the broken clothes horse one leg had been completely broken off as the living room was clean and tidy when I arrived home 4hrs Later and in a better mood.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011


Ok so just by chance on wednesday 6th April I decied that I was going to test on an okp
and to my supprise it was positive and the same on thursday I forgot to test again untill sat nite where it was neg so somwhere between tuesday and friday I had ovulated I like to think I did on the thursday or firday as managed to dtd morning and eve on friday

my cycle is so messed up not to sure what is going on but will try and dtd as often as possible untill af has arrived.

On saturday I went to my cousains baby shower which actually took my mind of the what has been going on it was great we plaed games and watched the grand national

I actually can not wait for baby Olly to enter this world he is going to be so gorge
my other cousain had brought Jaydon 4 and Tayah 3months I was in my element as I love them so much and love holding Tayah and playing with Jaydon altohugh he always ends up hiting my head one way or another.

Friday, 8 April 2011


On Feb 10th I was browsing though the web when i came across a forum called baby and bump I thought to my self what harm could this do to join IL just have a look to see what people were saying and see what I could use to help me
I was so confused I had no idea what i was doing or where i was going
eventually a came across a group it was to do with ovulating around the time i was next thing i know I'm hocked on it like a drug.
The girls on here seemed so nice and helpful and there are they have actually played a huge part in my TTC
they help out so much and the support is soo emmance
They each have their own story to tell and great personalities there is always someone on there to make you laugh.
so i would like to say thank you to all you girls
and Tracey

Since the group has been so close it was decided to rename the group to the sticking together crew this means where ever we are trough our journey in ttc we will stick together

It feels like I have known thees girls for years and that's great as were so comfortable in talking about stuff no matter how gross or graphic lol


Thursday, 7 April 2011


Hi there my name is Stacey and I'm 23 years old
about 3 years ago i met my husband Mo after only being together for a year we decided to tie the knot
I was so excited to be getting married as i knew the amount of time we have been together was irrelevant this was the man i loved and could not see my future without him.

so we eventually tied the knot last year in august the day was so perfect i just could not get any better than this my life is falling very nicely in to place it just missing one thing now A BABY

in December last year i took my final bcp and gave what i had remaining to my sister (naughty i know)
and in Jan i had my first proper af it was actually very painful and brought back the memories to why i had gone on them in the first place but Bertie my water bottle was on hand to keep me comfortable.

Around two weeks later i started to pee on my opks (poas) neg neg neg poss woo yeah hubby and i were straight at it !!!!!

All has been going well till a little hiccup bfp with af hmmmm so me being me just ignored the fact that i had a bfp around two weeks later i began spotting this is soo weired this is not like me maybe its the affect of the bcp IL test anyways march 30th i tested BFP so bright to see i was so hyped up about it but in my mind i had been thinking this af was like no other dark, heavy and clotted ?????? went to see a Dr he was so rude to be i could not believe that i was even here listening to him talk to me like dogs do on his shoe so i had decide to go see a GP at the hospital she was also rude talking to EDP department like i was not in the room
id had enough i just burst out crying who were thees people to just dismiss me like this eventually i got to see a midwife and have a scan.

She looked at me and said hunny I'm afraid your tummy's empty and for some reason it just did not bother me i thinks that's because i was expecting the outcome and had prepared myself for the news. I had my bloods taken to see how much HGC i had left in my system and to make sure it was not eptopic
when i got the phone call she said there is a low amount of hormone left in a way that was releaf to know.

When i got home i moped about for a bit then Mo had come home from work he was pretty blunt and i cried but i needed that i did not want to here people being sympathetic to me that would give me more reason to mope about instead he said it was not meant to be this proves that you can have a baby we will just keep trying .
awww i love him soo much
that Saturday i started to bleed and did not actually stop until yesterday but it came and went as it pleased
so i hope this is that last of it I'm ready to start trying again.